But, in the Nov of 2009 I've become a total hardcore fan and my craziness for them was the most craziness in my entire life. I started a new book...I learn about them again in 3 months. Anyway, catch up everything that happen in 6 years in just 3 months?. Of course that was impossible..I'm still learning and searching and analysing about them until now.
The hardship is just begin...
I'm an exam candidate (SPM) and this year was actually an extremely important year for me...I really need to study hard and gain top scores in all the subjects...since I was already a top scorer and I the school's head prefect, so I really need to maintain that tittle.
but..the distraction of DBSK seems to lead me in the wrong path...seriously I don't want it to be like that... I don't want DBSK become the reason of my failure - I REALLY DON'T WANT THAT.
I keep busy searching, updating and watching videos about them that actually made me forget to catch up my studies and my sleep - I'M DOING THIS RIGHT NOW.
I'm so disappointed of myself....
The DBSK conquer most of the files in my hard disk, I have about 500 to 600 pictures of them, 100 gif image, 100 to 200 songs and about 50 to 60 video files... and this morning my mom suddenly burst out about that file. She ask me " Why are you downloading so much of these kind of pictures? What are going to do with them? Aren't you suppose to study? You told me that you use that laptop for you studies, for searching information. Then, what kind of studies are these?".
I was stunned and I don't know what am I suppose to answer. My mom was really strict and I know that if I fight against her..then that will the end of my day.
I remain silent and keep looking down the floor..in my mind I was thinking, 'How did she found that files? She never open my files before? Maybe she done that during my absent'
My mom gave that death glare which means that...you must study hard and gain top score. I don't wanna see those nonsense files anymore. I was so worried and scared.
I guess..I really need to slow down for a while until I finish up the exam... I want DBSK become the reason of my success not to my failure. I want DBSK become the fire that burn my desire to study..not the eraser who erased all my mood of studying.
I really mean the hardship has come...not long ago. It was about posters in my room. My room was full of posters and my dad seems don't really like about it. But he never says anything...and I guess that was not really a big problem, it was my room anyway..
But now..my mom talk about the files and she really serious about it..
Oppa~ why is it so hard for me to love you? Is it a sin? Its obviously not...it just that nobody in this house understand how I really love you. They just don't understand my feeling for you. It was me alone to love you..I never had anybody to share my love about you, they just don't care and don't understand.
DBSK ....
I really love you with all my heart and I really feel that I can't live a day without you..
you're my pulse who beating inside me every second.
You are my energy who woke me up everyday.
You are the one who cheer me up whenever I feel down.
You are my vitamin. You are my strength..
You are everything to me..
Every single thing about you is the reason that I never give up.
No matter what they say...I will never give up on you. Why is it so hard to love you? I guess I must find that answer within myself....
Oppa~ saranghae
Although, I was going to slow down on DBSK things..but that never mean that I am forgetting them..
They're always here in my heart...
I
WILL
ALWAYS
KEEP
THE
FAITH
DBSK ~ I LOVE YOU
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